The Only Attempt That Matters.

This is a post for writers. It is about our attempts to build an author platform and the challenge to stay small. Or at least, that's what I thought it was going to be about when I first started...

Attempt #7:
​I've written this post six times already, and each time I've sighed, deleted and stared again at the blank page. It would be easy to blame it on writer's block. But I don't think that's it. It's more like a stubborn inability to get into words what has been buzzing around in my brain.
If you've been following my journey this year, you'll know it has involved a lot of slowing down. Just before the middle of the year, I took a break from social media and the impact of that decision continues to reverberate through my writing life. It's as if I've been having a staring competition with my author platform and my platform isn't winning...

​Attempt #8:
In the author world, having a healthy platform is considered crucial. More followers, more newsletter subscribers, more speaking invites - they all reflect the size and value of a writer's platform and translate, in publishing speak, to a better investment. But at what point does a platform overtake the integrity of a writer, their work, or their relationship with God? These are some of the question that keep cropping up in my year of being slow...

Attempt #9:
It was a Francis Chan sermon that really got me thinking. He spoke about the danger of platform, and how Jesus resisted the expectations of fame and renown. How he told people to keep his miracles secret. How he ran from the crowds, pursuing time unseen with God. How he turned upside down our definitions of success, and instead offered us a different, radically quiet way.
If Jesus is our Lord, why are our ways so often the very opposite of his?...

Attempt #10:
​If I asked you to stay small, would you? 
If I asked you to give it all up, could you?
If you wrote what you were meant to, 
what you know matters, 
then what? 
Would you trust me with the numbers?
The ones that really matter? 
The ones you'll never see and can never include on a proposal to impress an agent?...

Attempt #11:
I've been listening to Mary K and Sandy, over at the Writing Off Social podcast recently. They challenge the expected mantras of authors needing to be on social media. Their recent episode 55 was a real encouragement, prompting me to think more deeply about growth and obedience. It was as if they put into words what I've been mulling over for several months now. How growth isn't really about numbers, but about learning to trust God with our writing work, goals and dreams. I'll pop a link here so you can go listen to it...  

Attempt #12:
​Growth. 
What does it take to finally grow? 
Sometimes it's a hard year. Sometimes it's a loss of dreams. Sometimes it's a pause... like now, as Christmas rises over the horizon and we remember the gift of Jesus. How he came and challenged all the norms. All the expectations of fame, following and faith. He invited us to 'come and see' where he was living, how he walked in step with the Father, how he was obedient until the point when those who missed the whole point, crucified him... And then, after the world waited without any hope of redemption, he rose! Rearranging eternity on our behalf!
This is Christmas, this story. It sweeps along, strangled in tinsel and too many shopping dockets. But it's asking us to pause. To lay our attempts at meaningless platforms down. 
To listen to the quiet spaces. Where the Mystery of God's love reorders our priorities and teaches our stubborn hearts how to grow: small and upside down.

(Photos were taken in Hamilton Gardens, NZ.)