Failure is Peter. Leaning over the edge of the boat; squinting at the shadow.
No. The man… The Lord! It's Jesus, walking towards the boat. Walking on the water as if it was solid ground. His clothes flapping in the evening breeze. ‘Lord, if it’s really you, tell me to come to you!’ And Peter leans. His faith is new. It’s untested. High and heady in this adventure of following Jesus, who could be the Christ. And what if he is? That would change everything. Absolutely every- ‘Come!’
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I have a bucket of broken things.
It isn’t full, there is still a lot of life yet, but the bucket is heavy anyway. I stare at it. Push it away with my foot and glare at it. Of course it doesn’t budge. It’s mine. Full of all the broken things my life has collected: broken dreams, broken hearts, broken hopes, broken starts. I stare at it a little longer, knowing its weight without even picking it up. Then I lean over, wrap my fists around the metal handle and drag it to Jesus. I’m tired of carrying this bucket alone. This is a post for writers. It is about our attempts to build an author platform and the challenge to stay small. Or at least, that's what I thought it was going to be about when I first started...
Attempt #7: I've written this post six times already, and each time I've sighed, deleted and stared again at the blank page. It would be easy to blame it on writer's block. But I don't think that's it. It's more like a stubborn inability to get into words what has been buzzing around in my brain. If you've been following my journey this year, you'll know it has involved a lot of slowing down. Just before the middle of the year, I took a break from social media and the impact of that decision continues to reverberate through my writing life. It's as if I've been having a staring competition with my author platform and my platform isn't winning... A spindly branch of wattle blossoms from the bushland at the end of my street. And a spindly 'think' from my journal where I'm musing about faith and trust and the Refiner's work of love. *** You
meet me where the heart is aching. You hold me when the cracks begin to show. So... here's an honest post.
Last month I decided to take a 'break' from social media. (You can read more about why I did that here.) That word 'break' is kind of ambiguous though, isn't it? I remember way back in high school when the boy I loved suggested we take a 'break' from our teenage romance. I quickly realised 'break' meant 'break up'. So, what about me and Meta? Are we over? Or are we just readjusting the boundaries of our relationship? Silliness aside, it's been a little confronting to go cold turkey on my relationship with the socials. It's unearthed all sorts of questions. And it's only been one month! |
The Penny DropsIn high school I used to write what I'd call 'thinks' - little bits of writing about whatever topic or issue I was mulling over at the time. I still write these little pieces. Categories
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